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Apr. 15th, 2008 @ 10:42 pm a letter
Current Location: trouse 302
Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
Current Music: Casados: Take It Slow
Dear birds,
You are hard to love because you require many of hours of me getting up early, bearing the elements, and walking around town for hours at a time with a notebook and binoculars attempting not to look like a pedophile. The massive pooping on my car is not helping squash my slight disdain of you. I suggest you move your excrement activities over to Big Wess' lovely monster truck as he is not an environmentalist, seeing how he drives everywhere.

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eby makes pancakes float
Mar. 11th, 2008 @ 10:44 pm I can see the sun in wintertime
Current Location: trouse 302
Current Mood: satisfiedsatisfied
Current Music: Tiger Saw: The tiger and the tailor
Well my Spring Break didn't turn out how I thought it would be, but that is not a bad thing.

I was supposed to fly to Atlanta Friday afternoon and have an hour layover then fly to Philly and meet up with my parents; my mom would be coming in from Jersey and my dad from CT. Then we would go to my Mom's brother's place.
-side note: My mom's oldest brother died the 1st weekend in March and so we all, by some travel miracle, were meeting up in Philly for the funeral.

Due to the freak global warming blizzard my flight got canceled. I told the Delta lady I needed to get to Philly tonight, to which she replied there was no way to get out of Columbus tonight, but they had rescheduled me to fly out on Sat.
I was not comforted because this meant I could no longer go to the funeral and be with my family. I was crushed. My family is one of the most important things to me, no matter how crazy they are. They are a part of me. I just really wanted to be there with my mom. She lost both her parents, her step-mom and now her oldest brother. He had ALS for 6 yrs., so in that sense it really is amazing that he lived to be 68. But, at the same time 68 is such a young age to die. He got sick right about the time my grandmother's cancer came in remission. It's just really sad.

10 min after I sorted things out with Delta and my dad, I had a new plan. I was going to fly home to ATL and hang out at home until my mom came home on Sun. I was no longer to looking forward to the first 1/2 of break. 5 min later my extremely dear friend APD calls and invites me to stay with her Fri. night and her dad in his super duper truck rescued us from the snow fort of campus. Her parents are great, they're like my second parents, so I was really nice for me to spend some time in a family setting. We went to a fish fry! My Sat. flight was also canceled, which was not unexpected since the weather had gotten worse. So, Allison and I slept 'til noon and bummed around her house. We went to another blizzard potluck at her neighbors, so I kinda had a family reunion like weekend that really made me feel so much better.

Sunday I returned to campus, dug my car out of the snow for the 1st time ever! With a mop! Haha
Kit, Mike, and I made pizza and tofu nuggets for dinner and we played Kings and hung out with some sweet peeps. Then I got a text from my friend Ross and he invited me to visit him in Oxford. So I drove out Monday and we watched some movies and bummed around. I got to see the fire station where he works and eat some yummy Indian food he made.

So back on campus yet again. Seems I can't spend more than 2 nights in the same place! On Thursday Barb, Allison and I will head out on our weird OH pilgrimage until Sat.
Sweet Butter Jesus Here we come!
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eby makes pancakes float
May. 30th, 2007 @ 10:50 am 24 hours of travelling 7am-7am
Current Location: Home
Current Music: The Fire Theft: Chains
-a 15 minute dugout canoe ride
-a 20 minute hike
-a 2.5 hour motorized boat ride
-a 10 minute bus ride
-a 40 minute flight from Coca to Quito
-a 1 hour bus ride complete with a McPollo jr and free hugging mimes
-a 2.5 hour siesta
-a 30 minute shower-I was determined to be reasonably clean
-a 1.5 dinner
-a 30 minute bus ride
-a 40 minute flight from Quito to Guayaquil
-a 7 hour flight from Guayaquil

-lots of customs ad security and baggage claims

I am home
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eby makes pancakes float
May. 14th, 2007 @ 03:02 pm A reflection of Junior Year
Current Location: ATL
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Album 88
Junior year has come and gone. For me it was the most realistic year; I felt more, I learned more about myself and what I want. I was strong and also very weak. I hurt two of the people who care most about me and that is something I am ashamed to say. I went through a dark period when I didn't care if my actions hurt people as long as I got what I wanted. I came out of that and I can honestly say I am really happy where I am now.
I feel I should say something about Ben, a topic I have avoided and a topic he has written about. The end of relationship was not a pleasant one. There was a lot of fighting and crying. I broke up with him because I didn't love him anymore and it wasn't fair for either of to continue to be in a disproportionate relationship. Yes, certain events had influence, but in the end they weren't the reason. After we broke up I felt like the worst person in the world for about two weeks. It also did not help that we broke up at the beginning of Orchesis tech week. Now we are friends, something we both wanted.
Initially I thought I wouldn't date someone until at least senior year. There also wasn't anyone really that I wanted to be in a relationship. Until I met Scott. I really like how surprising he is, how serious of a cook he is, how he makes me laugh, how adventurous he is, how thoughtful he is, how chivalrous he is. Our first date was amazing, he cooked for me, and after a week of seeing each other I asked him to be my boyfriend. It seemed silly to start a relationship with only two weeks of school left and then three months of summer. Originally I thought the best thing to do was continue to see each other until school ended and then see where we were after summer. But, I changed my mind because I wanted to be his girlfriend and be in a committed relationship with him. We like each other a lot and I am going into this summer with a lot of confidence that we will still be together in August.
This year I spent a lot of time with my friends, something I felt I missed out on in Sophomore year because I spent so much time with Ben. I vow never to make my life all about my boyfriend, which is something both Scott and I agree on and are conscious of. I love all the ridiculous things we did together from Dodge Battle Royal to my underwear birthday party to Jon's rhino stomp. I love these people more than anything and will miss them a whole lot this summer. Senior will be stellar; I can feel it.
In the end this was the most real year for me, a year where I felt the most, I worked the hardest, I loved and lost, and most importantly I proved that girls can pee off porches. And I've decided to live my life as realistically, not idealistically, as possible.
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eby makes pancakes float
Apr. 10th, 2007 @ 11:34 pm Today I talked to Andrew about D.C. and it made me miss it and last summer
Current Music: Postal Service: The District Sleeps Alone Tonight
Smeared black ink... your palms are sweaty
And I'm barely listening to last demands
I'm staring at the asphalt wondering what's buried underneath
Where I am
Where I am

I'll wear my badge... a vinyl sticker with big block letters adherent to my chest
That tells your new friends I am a visitor here...
I am not permanent
And the only thing keeping me dry is
Where I am
Where I am
Where I am

You seem so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex
A stranger with your door key explaining that I am just visiting
And I am finally seeing
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving

D.C. sleeps alone tonight

Where I am
Where I am
Where I am

You seem so so out of context in this gaudy apartment complex
A stranger with your door key explaining that I am just visiting
And I am finally seing
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving

Where I am
Where I am
Where I am

The district sleeps alone tonight after the bars turn out their lights
And send the autos swerving into the loneliest evening
And I am finally seeing
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving
Why I was the one worth leaving

What will this summer hold? Will it even compare? Will it it surpass?
Someone please hire me...I am getting anxious
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eby makes pancakes float
Apr. 9th, 2007 @ 10:30 pm Good news!
Current Location: Tree House 203, not 201 I don't live there at all
Current Music: The Pixies: Where Is My Mind?
After three years and four history classes
I am finally a history minor!
Hooray, I plan on going out with a Chen class, just as I came in.
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eby makes pancakes float
Apr. 9th, 2007 @ 05:49 pm A very long day that just won't end
Current Location: Tree House 201
Current Music: The Beatles: i am the walrus
This was my day:
7:30-wake up and proceed to hit the snooze button until 8
8-10:00-write two pages of Women in Gender in Modern America and realize topic sucks,
find out that my printer is getting printing messages from my laptop and no USB ports seem to be working
10-10:30-get ready bike to Ham-Wil get bagel and tea, print out paper, go to Dr. Flamm's office only to discover he does not spend his mornings at OWU, make appointment for after class
10:30-11:00-call mom, get lecture on working moms and get promise of hot cross buns upon arrival home in May
11-12:00-Animal Behavior, spend a lit of time listening to different animal calls, especially one that involve toadfish getting poked by unruly scientists
12:00-1:00-lunch of Mongolian bbq bowl, finally. some douche cut in front of me in line though
1-2:00-Modern Temper, spend most of class justifying its existence, want silent films about rain and ballet
2:00-2:30-buy grapes, really excited about them, only to find out they all were pretty much bad
2:30-4-Women and Gender, get paper that I worked really hard on only to have Dr. Flamm tell me he knows I can do better
4:00-4:10-meet with Dr. Flamm, finally have focus for paper
4:15-4:55-tour guide meeting, more visit days, going to eat with prospies on Friday
5:00-discover that Dana's bike lock actually works and have to walk home
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eby makes pancakes float
Apr. 7th, 2007 @ 10:37 am I don't care what anyone says, I think its beautiful
Nobody knows who I really am
I've never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along
Who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong

first ending segment of Bleach
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eby makes pancakes float
Apr. 1st, 2007 @ 01:19 am Love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah
Current Location: Tree House 201
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: Lily Allen: LDN
I've been thinking about this a lot. Is what qualities we want for a partner a reflection of our own interests? Do we just want to be with versions of ourselves?
I told this Jen and she brought up the idea of having sex with a clone of yourself. Which, come to think of it, would be rather perfect because male you would know exactly what you wanted and how to please you.
It's very strange to be back in the "dating game." If you want to say that. I don't want a relationship or even to be asked out. I am afraid. Because Ben and mine's relationship ended so painfully. We both committed actions that hurt the other one deeply. I don't want to be hurt like that or hurt like that ever again. Last Sunday we got into a fight that was essentially about nothing. And everything I hated about our relationship and relationships in general was manifested in the single conversation. I feel that when you are in a relationship you do irrational things, you know the MELODRAMA. I now live in fear of the melodrama.
I wonder if I could just be with someone, but never make anything official, would there be freedom from the melodrama? Would we be completely rational, if free from titles?

i think i just may be disillusioned...

we'll see what time brings
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eby makes pancakes float
Feb. 25th, 2007 @ 05:00 pm Warm Winter Weather
Current Location: desk
Current Music: Death Cab for Cutie: Lightness
Everything is melting and then freezing again creating a frozen terrain in which we are forced to cling together to prevent slipping. We are more solid this way. If we are alone, falling becomes scary because there is no one there to catch you and laugh with you at your lost center of gravity.

I may have finally adjusted to cold weather. It's been in the 30's lately and I haven't been wearing a coat. Maybe my circulation system decided to give up being crappy for Lent.
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eby makes pancakes float